MyFunThings Joke Blog

Funny Haircut Pictures and Barber Jokes

ImIn2Country — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 04:25:23 +0000

Funny Barber Jokes

A priest goes into a barber's shop sits down, gets a good haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him.

The barber says, 'Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth there is no charge you.'

The priest blesses the barber and says, 'Thank you very much' and goes about his business. The next day, 10 gold coins magically appear on the barber's doorstep.

A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, 'No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house.'

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 10 magnificent rubies.

The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay and the barber says, 'No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace.'

Then the next day, the barber opens his shop to find 10 Rabbis waiting for a haircut

Condom Packages

ImIn2Country — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:42:12 +0000

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factely replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, "Why are there three in this package."
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March.”

Fireman Sex Joke

ImIn2Country — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:31:59 +0000

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.
“From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night.” The next night he came home from work and yelled, “BELL 1!” The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled “BELL 2!”, the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled “BELL 3!”, they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled “BELL 4!” “What the hell is BELL 4?” asked the husband?
“ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,” she replied, “YOU’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.”

The Pickle Slicer Joke

ImIn2Country — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:25:40 +0000

There was a man who had worked his whole life in a pickle factory. One day he came home and told his wife that he had been fired from his job. She began to scream and yell, "You have given them twenty years of devoted service. Why did they fire you?"
"For twenty years I’ve wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer," he explained, "and today I finally did it!"
The wife ran over and pulled his pants down to see what damage had been done. "You look okay," she said with a sigh of relief. "So what happened to the pickle slicer?"
"Well," he said with hesitation, "they fired her, too."

Advice From Dad

ImIn2Country — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 07:14:27 +0000

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?"

His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son."

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"

Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"

Craig Ferguson (video)

ImIn2Country — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:48:57 +0000

My Old Babysitter!

ImIn2Country — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:09:41 +0000

I REALLY MISS HER!!!

Who Stole My Fries!!! (video)

ImIn2Country — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:04:48 +0000

How To Impress The Opposite Sex

ImIn2Country — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:20:10 +0000

1. Compliment her, 2. cuddle her, 3. kiss her, 4. caress her, 5. love her, 6. stroke her, 7. tease her, 8. comfort her, 9. protect her, 10. hug her, 11. hold her, 12. spend money on her, 13. wine & dine her, 14. buy things for her, 15. listen to her, 16. care for her, 17. stand by her, 18. support her, 19. go to the ends of the earth for her….

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: 1.Show up naked. a). Bring beer.

Men Are Like..

ImIn2Country — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:13:13 +0000

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can
walk all over them for years

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they dont generate much interest

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Coffee, the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up
all night long.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Commercials, you cant believe a word they say.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Computers, hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Coolers, load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Copiers, you need them for reproduction, but thats about
it.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Curling Irons, they’re always hot and they’re always in your hair.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Cement, after getting laid they take along time to get
hard.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Government Bonds, they take so long to mature.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . High Heels, they’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of
it.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Horoscopes, they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Lava Lamps, fun to look at, but not all that bright.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Parking Spots, the good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Popcorn, they satisfy you, but only for a little while.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Place Mats, they only show up when there’s food on the
table.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Snow Storms, you never know when they’re coming, how many
inches youll get or how long they will last.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Used Cars, both are easy-to-get, cheap and unreliable.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Bank Machines, once they withdraw they lose interest.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Bananas, the older they get, the less firm they are.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Newborn Babies, they’re cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Crystal, some look real good, but you can still see right
thru them.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Dry Cleaners, most work fast and leave no ring.

MEN ARE LIKE . . . Laxatives, they irritate the shit out of you.